When it comes to physical challenges, courageous is not a word I would use to describe myself. I over-analyze, hesitate and then take a baby step.
Instead of courage I express a variety of fears – fear of falling, fear of heights, fear of being uncomfortable, fear of the unknown. Send me to a foreign country by myself any day! Send me down a steep hill on my road bike and I will shoot daggers out of my eyes at you.
As much as someone tells you your fear is irrational, it feels very real. If you are like me, I hope this post enables you to conquer your fears. If you are a daredevil, all the power to you!
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” – William Shakespeare, Hamlet
Fear of physical feats is not a new phenomena. Case in point – my younger sister started biking without her training wheels before I could build up the nerve.
Recently, my fear has again involved biking. When I married the son of a bicycle store owner, I knew biking was going to become a larger part of my life. This quickly proved correct, as my first birthday gift as a daughter-in-law was a Trek 7.3 FX.
When we moved to Mississippi, we didn’t have a car, so I had to confront in the face my lack of biking confidence. Hattiesburg’s bikes lanes are few and far between. Every time we went to the grocery store, I felt like I was risking my life.
Beyond essential bike trips to the grocery store (and car dealerships), I started going on bike rides for exercise. The first few rides were near disaster. I went under 10 mph downhill. I had a white knuckle grip on the handle bars. I was convinced that if I let up on the brakes I would careen out of control.
Many of these bike rides involved tears. Afterwards I would be mentally exhausted from trying to push myself and telling my inner dialogue to “shut up already!”
As much as I wanted to avoid routes with downhill segments, my husband would not let me. One day he had me ride a hill on repeat until I didn’t use my brakes.
Avoiding fears only amplifies anxiety. In order to conquer it, you have to keep exposing yourself to the fear.
I was thrown further into the biking world, when my in-laws surprised me with a road bike for Christmas. I guess it was their way of telling me it was time to graduate to a faster bike.
It took me eight months to warm up to the idea of riding clipless pedals. My friend offered some encouraging words – “It’s not if you are going to fall, it’s when.” This advice could’ve entirely freaked me out. Instead, it served as a reminder that at some point we are all beginners. Being a beginner is not bad. What is bad is giving in to your self-imposed limits.
One morning I was on a solo ride and got to thinking – what if I woke up one day and I couldn’t move my legs? I would kick myself (pun intended) for all the times I held back out of fear.
We need to appreciate what our bodies are capable of doing now, no matter what stage in life, because at some point it could be very different.
Last week I faced my fear of heights. I climbed to the top of the 30ft climbing wall at The University of Southern Mississippi. Instead of thinking, “I am going to fall, I can’t do this,” I visualized powerfully climbing to top. I pictured every detail- using the strength in my legs, not looking down, gripping the holds, and most importantly walking away knowing I had tried my hardest.
I used to think the whole visualization thing was silly. But it’s not. It works. Shut out the negative thoughts and give yourself a mini-pep talk. Visualize yourself conquering your fear.
Despite some triumphs, when I am picking up speed down a hill fear sometimes gets the best of me. When I feel it creeping back in I ask myself, “are you going to be proud of yourself at the end of this bike ride or are you going to regret giving into your fear?”
Be proud of what you do – whether you actually conquered the fear or gave it your best effort. It’s imperative to know our limits, but to not limit ourselves unnecessarily.
I’m curious, how do you try to conquer your fears?
